God is Huge...But He Chooses Us

I find myself in this position where I have the opportunity to make a choice. Through struggles with my faith, church, family, and friends it was difficult to comprehend what God was saying through the clutter. But I finally sat down, and gave Him the chance to simply impress upon my heart, what His heart for me is. I cannot simply sit and and worship God, and read His Word. I need to engage. Jesus is not just my own personal savior, He is the King, and He has called all of us to rule with Him, to be kings and queens in His Kingdom. I must claim the inheritance which God has promised for me. The inheritance that awaits me in the Kingdom. I must act when He tells me to act. I will speak as He gives me utterance. I will fear God, not sin. Shame will not rule over my life. I will seek His purposes for my life. All other things will come in His time. What I need He shall give to me. Your grace is enough to sustain my small fragile life. And through You I will become the man You always knew that I was. I will be strong.

The Past is Done With

I'm at work right now taking my break, and for some reason I have become ridiculously nostalgic. Here I find myself looking at my past, longing to have that same passion I once had, longing to have that feeling that I was in control of my life, longing to KNOW once again that I was going to be ok because I had Jesus and I knew what I was doing in my life. So here I am, sitting at work, realizing that I have no idea what is in store for my life. And I finally understand now that while I am here at this point in my life completely and utterly confused with this chaos that's raging in my heart, mind and soul, that this is where I need to be. I need to be here because I think I am finally going to be able to put my life in His hands. The choices aren't easy any more, and every decision has it's consequences, and there is no way that I can decide ANYTHING myself. I think it's about time to stop making my own decisions. I've been running my life for a while now, and I have to say that in the big picture things have been pretty good. But you know what? I'm tired of good, and I'm sick of alright. I want amazing, I want powerful. I want to live magnificently!! Just as God has intended for me to live. So here it goes...

Father God, I want to put my life into Your hands, I want You to be in control, guide my decisions, my thoughts, the choices that I must make for my life. That I would start to live righteously for You oh God, in alignment with the things You want for my life. I've seen my life in my hands, and the only time I do things right is when I am in Your Will. So God help me. That I may contend and war for You to reign in my life. I love You and I need You. Help me. Amen.